Saturday, May 30, 2009

post SOCA

morning, sunshine! :)
it's my favorite phrase for a morning energy booster , works every time. TRUST ME IT WORKS.

Okay then, I had my SOCA on monday (may 25th), and it was a hell of experience! Oh yes, I LOVE SOCA. I cried my eyes out that day. I got a good mark though, but I'm not satisfied with my performance that day, shiit!. Feel so stupid, and indeed it was a trainwreck. :(( EMBERASSING! Maybe the examiner had a concussion before, it's possible, considering how i performed that day and still passed the exam.
Anyway, The scariest thing has passed, the fear that i would srcrew up big time. Yes I screwed up, but not BIG time. I'm gratefull for what i got. ;) maybe i'm not satisfied for how i performed, but not the result.
Satisfactory is a scary word. When you satisfied , you forget how to move on. It's a comfort zone. I'm keeping my self motivated with this "mind-trick". Persue the best , and keep the best as an imaginary line. Something that keep moving, something to move forward ;)

Friday, May 1, 2009

the fear ~sigh

huff. my stomach is REALLY REALLY hurt :'( .
i don't know why, maybe my fingernails are just too long and as you may have known it harbors a lot of germs, or.. it's my bad habit that cause all off this. I rarely eat breakfast, or lunch ( i know, you must be guessing how come i survive, i don't really know myself), it must be my gastritis then.
The blame is on me, for not taking my body seriously. poor stomach, get well soon. i miss you.

Ok then, i'll have my exams on 25th of May, the SOOCA, the one that scares me the most.
It stands for .... yehh, i don't really know what it stands for!! hahhaha. but it's not important. Let me just give you a brief description , it's a type of exams where you have to do a presentation for 20 minutes in front of your professors and doctors.
Since we're talking about medical school, material for the presentation are cases we have studied this year. In total there are 31 cases. Every case tells different stories, in which you're pretending to be a doctor. You have to list the problem, your diagnosis, treatment and blablabla.

I remember my SOOCA during my 1st year, we have like 5-7 cases, i still remember clearly the feeling, the stress, the pressure, the tingling sensation on my stomach, the lack of sleep, the sweaty palms and sole, the rush of adrenalin, and finally the brokedown. Icried the night before my exam.
Then when the day finally came, i remember sitting in the waiting room with my friends waiting our names called. The pale faces, the "good luck" smiles. Then when our names finally called, we walked as a group to another room, the isolation room. Here, we finally know which case we got. 20 minutes, it's all we got to prepare for the presentation. After that, you go to another room, and the presentation begun.


-dan gw jadi deg2an gara2 mikirin ini. SH*T.

Just hoping i'll get a good score , i hope an A . I REALLY DO HOPE . (praying)
say hello to my dearest ;) : *sukses ya semua SOOCAnyaaa!!*